Author Topic: Funny Stuff  (Read 321280 times)

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #575 on: May 09, 2008, 06:48:29 PM »
I needed that laugh, thank you Balgin :applause: Never thought I would be saying that :wink:

Offline Steel Penguin

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #576 on: May 10, 2008, 12:59:27 PM »
definatly anouther, thank you from here. wonderfuly well spoted
a happy dauber

Offline eastman

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #577 on: May 11, 2008, 09:11:37 PM »
Another thanks on that great headline.

 :boing: :boing:
I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe - Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #578 on: May 11, 2008, 09:43:29 PM »

Offline Ajsalium

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #579 on: May 11, 2008, 10:17:24 PM »
Wasn't that already invented by Homer Simpson? :scratchhead:
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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #580 on: May 11, 2008, 10:22:16 PM »

Offline Mr Teufel

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #581 on: May 12, 2008, 02:15:33 AM »
Very funny, and quite well painted! :lmao:

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #582 on: May 12, 2008, 02:32:06 AM »
It made me laugh when I found it on the net so I had to share.

Another one:

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #583 on: May 13, 2008, 07:29:40 AM »

Offline agentmolar

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #584 on: May 13, 2008, 09:05:12 AM »


Why is he humping the marine on the ground?

THIS......*grunt*...... IS.....*grunt*......... SPARTA!!!!!!!
I like to rock and roll all night, and part of every day.

Chrysalis

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #585 on: May 13, 2008, 11:21:05 AM »


Why is he humping the marine on the ground?

THIS......*grunt*...... IS.....*grunt*......... SPARTA!!!!!!!

This one is simply amazing.

Some people and a lot of geeky 40K fans among them have taken this Spartan thing much too seriously. This is very fresh and welcome. :yup:

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #586 on: May 13, 2008, 01:22:00 PM »
Why is he humping the marine on the ground?

THIS......*grunt*...... IS.....*grunt*......... SPARTA!!!!!!!

He is GREEK!

I'll get my coat...

Chrysalis

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #587 on: May 13, 2008, 02:52:16 PM »
Why is he humping the marine on the ground?

THIS......*grunt*...... IS.....*grunt*......... SPARTA!!!!!!!

He is GREEK!

I'll get my coat...

And the guy on the ground has a pinkish amor! muahahahaha

Custom_Hobby, can you get my coat too please?

Offline weareblind

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #588 on: May 13, 2008, 04:57:49 PM »
Oh my (Greek) God! Fantastic!  :applause:
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Offline agentmolar

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #589 on: May 13, 2008, 05:15:13 PM »
Well they do say the greeks invented sex... and the italians introduced it to women.

*ive got all your coats and im selling them to the local pawn broker *

I like to rock and roll all night, and part of every day.

Offline weareblind

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #590 on: May 13, 2008, 07:37:48 PM »
Well they do say the greeks invented sex... and the italians introduced it to women.
Here I am ahahahahaha  :woohoo!:
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Offline Balgin Stondraeg

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #591 on: May 27, 2008, 01:46:21 PM »
Balgin Stondraeg, proud member of Clan Stondraeg, son of Guthram, husband of Urwena, brother to Hengrek, Murnak and Dradan. Father of Cigfa. Miserable old fool to disrespectful friends.

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #592 on: May 27, 2008, 01:57:10 PM »
High security level  :lol:
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Offline DRAGON

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #593 on: May 30, 2008, 08:20:17 AM »
News just in ...... Oil companies are to start showing porn videos on forecourts  so customers can watch someone else being screwed for a change !  :lol:
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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #594 on: May 30, 2008, 09:49:38 AM »
These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?!
WITN ESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you bumfudge' me?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you bumfudge' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________

And the best for last:


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

Offline Sabbat Wolf

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #595 on: May 30, 2008, 05:04:23 PM »
I've read those before, the last one is the best hands down.
Ancient Proverb #2: Life is a series of frack-ups, linked together by disasters and seperated only by things that go wrong.

Ancient Proverb #3: Life is a journey from beginning to end, so take the scenic route, enjoy the view and visit every pub along the way.

Ancient Proverb #4: When life gives you lemons, demand a refund and buy whiskey.

Offline Big Boris

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #596 on: May 30, 2008, 05:24:40 PM »
From the same website that CH quotes that book (I think it is, anyway), a not quite so funny but very interesting genuine psychological test question. PLease read this and try your hardest to think of the correct answer.

Are you a Psycho ?????

This is a genuine psychological test.

It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much the dream guy she was searching for that she fell in love with him right then and there but never asked for his name or number and afterward could not find anyone who knew who he was. A few days later the girl killed her own sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?


I will reveal the answer later this evening. Don't post your answer (especially if you already know the 'correct' answer), keep it to yourself and then tell me if you guessed right. If you did, congratulations! You have the mindset of a serial killing psychopath and are the secret dread of all your friends!

Offline Big Boris

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #597 on: May 30, 2008, 07:16:30 PM »
OK, budding psychos, here's the answer:
Quote
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you apparently think like a psychopath thinks. This was a test by
"a famous American psychologist" used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. 914 arrested serial killers took part in this test and 904 answered it correctly.

If you didn't answer correctly - good for you.

If your friends hit the jackpot, may I suggest that you keep your distance.

I didn't guess it (i thought it would be something like her sister knew the man and lied to her about not doing so and slept with him or something like that) but the answer makes sense speaking as someone who watches crime thrillers and keeps up a running commentary on motives, plotholes etc.

(Incidentally, Bones season 3 finale - WTF? Zack???? ZACK!? What do you mean, it was Zack?! If you watch the show you'll get what I mean)

Offline Ryan

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #598 on: May 30, 2008, 07:50:54 PM »
I didn't get it, that is surprising, seen as my girlfriends father says I displays psychotic tendencies, just because I told her I was going to put her threw a wood chipper during one argument  :shrug:, on the plus side it shut her up  :D
« Last Edit: May 30, 2008, 07:53:50 PM by Ryan »

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #599 on: May 30, 2008, 07:57:19 PM »
Knowing how to shut people up and being a psycho are two totally different things. He only said that because he was her father.

(Incidentally, Bones season 3 finale - WTF? Zack???? ZACK!? What do you mean, it was Zack?! If you watch the show you'll get what I mean)

Yeah I know what you mean Andy. I was stunned and never saw that one coming. Bones is a hottie (sculpt her)