Ok, since I just dumped a bit of bad in the piss you off thread; I wanted to post up something about what makes me happy.
The story of Kris.
Kris is the dear friend I mentioned in this picture:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30336687&l=304c8d4504&id=1392125486Kris was that very first girlfriend I had that I would walk home from school. Never anything serious; but was that first hand holding/give a quick kiss/give a bit of a bigger kiss
that sort of thing.
I just was in high school, she was still in middle school. We met during the summer on the age-group swim team. I talked to her, because I thought she was someone else from the high school. But we soon became friends; and I did my best to stammer over the offer to walk her home after practice. Just two kids, the swim team, and a few block walk to her house.
Well, she came from an UBER-strict family. I mean, UBER-strict. Stuff that would make your hair stand on end type stuff. To the point we were not even allowed to be friends once they learned who I was; much less boyfriend/girlfriend. Forced to attend a different school, couldn't attend dances, parents hung a shotgun up the night they both met me; the whole smack.
And we both wanted to remain friends; but just impossible with that level of control. It just was amazing to see a parent who would keep someone from even being a friend; albeit that I was just a touch older than her. But when you couldn't even call; or when she was forced to quit the swim team because of the mere chance a boy *might* take notice? It would be those moments of if you could 'save' someone by running away and joining the circus type situations. We joke now that both of us would of made lousy trapezee artists; so good thing we never tried.....
Anyways. Fast forward. We kept bumping into each other throughout our lives. When I returned home from college, I attended a junior college as I wasn't certain as to what to do next in life. I sat down in a class....right next to her, and did not know it was her when I did. Immediately we became study partners; and got through that horrid class!
We lost touch again for a handful of years, as I had already met the woman who would one day be my wife and she met the man who became her husband; and just was the life of 20 something year olds. After those uber-strict years; it did not once occur to either of us to try and 'date' to see what we missed due to being kids. We realized the friend part was far more enjoyable! But, as life takes you in many directions, we weren't on the same path once again.
Fast forward again. The day after she got married? She walked right into where I worked; not knowing I worked there, and once again got the
moment.
That was a great day; as obviously she 'got out' from under her parents iron rule and was leading a life she so deserved and those prayers that might of seemed silly 'please Lord, give Kris the best life you can, she deserves better than what she's been given so far' paid off. When I drove home from work that evening, I was all smiles knowing that she got a great man (who, bless him, got picked up in a bear hug by some crazy Irishman....wait, that was me who picked him up.)
We planned on keeping in touch, as it was awesome to not only meet who was now her husband; but I did get to introduce her to my fiance who was working there as well. But this was early/mid 90's, so the idea of email/IM/chat/facebook just wasn't in the lexicon of the everyday person. I soon left that place of employment; and she was unable to track me down. (Her husband was in the military; so keeping up with her was impossible as she kept moving as he was re-stationed.)
So, as the internet got bigger, the world got smaller. Turns out both of us were doing a bit of digging; getting old email addresses (mostly mine from former employers) and what not. We then come to two weeks before this past Christmas.
And this little thing called "Facebook."
And I get from her a message after seeing if she would remember me; and would she like to stay in touch this time. She most certainly did. She's now a mom of 3, her husband is now ex-military; and she's living a great life. And I haven't been that much of a slouch in the life department either, it turned out! I'll tell all of you something; she has become one of those dear friends that we get in life. It's that friendship that goes beyond just hanging out, to the point you consider them family.
As the song goes, "Friends come and go; its the special few you need to hold onto." I regretted we didn't stay in touch; as we both missed out on a lot of each others lives. But, Kris put it to me when I said I'm sorry we didn't stay friends.
"Tim, we've always been friends. Our friendship was just on pause until we could get back to it."
When things have gotten tough for either of us; the other one not only knows but knows exactly the right time to call or send an email or a facebook joke or whatever. We've spent countless hours talking; when she came back home to Illinois this spring, our children played together (and Kris and I both had one of those awesome moments, seeing her daughter hold my son's hand.) And we both have two AMAZING spouses who put up with the hours of chat, the laughs and jokes that nobody else gets, and that when we've had bad moments, both spouses have suggested "Maybe you should give Tim/Kris a call and just be silly for an hour or two."
And when I've had days like I had today (see the commentary about being stiffed for a full month on back pay in the PO thread) I know that the next time I get to chat with Kris, its going to make that level of stress seem so damn trivial and that the good things in life, like friendship, and walks, and laughter outweigh those stressful, frustrating, and sometimes dark moments in life.
One regret still I had is that due to her parents; I never took her to a dance. Not even a simple Friday night 'open gym' music night at the high school and had one dance. And I like to dance. Might even consider myself not half-bad at it. And she never got to go to one, ever.
But the beauty of a friendship that can be put on pause? Is that, in mentioning that, the two of us look forward to the day that (if the opportunity doesn't arise before then) that at the first wedding of one of our collective four kids (and Good Lord, if its my boy? I'm going to be a bit concerned, as he's the youngest of the four!) we're going to finally have a dance as two great friends.
Ok, I don't know if this makes up for my four or five "complain about life" posts. I don't think it needs to. But just remember; when life seems to keep kicking you right between the legs in 'Mr. Happy' gentlemen (ladies, think about it....ok, you got what I'm saying
) just close your eyes. Think about that one friend you've got that that you, without a second thought, would walk through fire for; and vice versa. Might even make a point of calling or emailing or chatting with that person.
If a man's worth can be measured by those he calls friend; I know I'm a rich man, as I might not be Mr. Popularity come the 20 year reunion.
But I've got a handful of friends like Kris who not only will I walk through anything for; but they have and will do the same for me.
Hope this brings a smile to someone's face or it makes you count the blessings your been given. And if it did; then mission accomplished.
Smile everyone; as the same song said, "Dance. Even if you have no place else to do it, except your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them."
